The Mess
We live in a world that does not know what to do with masculine energy. A world where young men are villainized before they ever get to know their inner villain. Where grown men walk the earth unacquainted with their shadows, playing someone else’s game. Until it’s too late.
We believe we are unlovable unless we are serving others. We believe we must be the givers, the doers, the planners, the ones who put everyone else first. We believe that serving others is a virtue. And we lose ourselves in the process. Inside, resentment, anger, and rage builds. Yet, we believe that if we put ourselves first love will be taken from us, and this fear is always there, walking with us. So we push the rage down.
Until it won’t stay buried.
The rage rises at the most inconvenient and inappropriate times. Eyes peek above the surface of our consciousness as depression. That which has been pushed down rises up, and comes out messy, sideways, and destructive. The creature strikes, jaws biting at whoever and whatever lies in front of us. We create a crisis.
It is in the crisis when we realize that something is wrong, that we need to change something, that we cannot stay on the path we are on. Like recovering alcoholics grateful for their “bottoms,” this is where we start on the road to redemption. Rage, resentment, depression, and anger all become untenable.
We are left to find our way alone, if we find our way at all. We are left to wonder what is wrong with us. Made to feel we are the problem. We are left wondering where the symbols are, where the stories are, where the way forward is hiding. Wondering where the others are.
We are left to meet the villain within, alone.
The Message
We must meet the villain within, and embrace him. We must explore our capacity for darkness, and befriend it. We must be willing to discuss our darkness.
Often that darkness is associated with the worst times of our lives. Yet, if we can stare it in the eyes, we will realize it is also a part of the best times of your life.
The villain’s journey is about helping men play with their darkness; to dance with it; to ride it; to integrate it; to understand it is an agent of change.
We need our villains.
We must put ourselves first. We must resist the urge to serve others when we sense we don’t really want to. This feels selfish, narcissistic, evil. But to heal, we must not turn away from this character in our psyche. We must lean in. Our villain has the key to our health.
We need an archetype of the Villain, just as there is of the Hero. We can see where the villain lives. It’s there in our stories, in our movies, in our modern myths.
The villain will lead us on our journey through the shadow.
We must finally learn to play the villain to be healthy.
